OK, Millennials. Let’s talk about cheating. This is a complicated issue and can’t be easily labeled as wrong. I might write a continuation to this article, but for now let’s get deep into this long piece of article on cheating.
Why do we cheat? Firstly, because we’re young. No idea of why its a and thing to cheat on someone. No guilt. No understanding that we are hurting someone. So when DO we understand? Actually, understanding comes when we we get cheated ourselves. Some have to actually get burned to know that playing with fire is a bad idea. So, to some, cheating can be a life lesson.
However, some cheat because they know how painful it can be because they were already have been cheated in the past. Let me tell you one thing: nothing good will come out of revenge. You will regret and you’ll be miserable.
Some cheat to prevent getting hurt. They would think “my boo must be cheating on me too so why can’t I?” That is a complete paranoia. That is your mind’s defense mechanism. You are creating a kind of an insurance so when you know your boo is cheating on you, you have an insurance that you are too cheating on him/her. (Stupidest idea ever) “He doesn’t know I’m cheating. HA. Don’t underestimate me” (Kinda like that scene from American Beauty where Lester is talking to his wife on the expensive couch)
But think about it, what if you boo is innocent? What if he loves you a lot and is not cheating at all? How are you going to take the responsibility for your actions? Will you continue living with a pang of conscience for the rest of your life? Or you just say fuck it!! and cheat more?
Now, what if a couple is having an open relationship? Does it count as cheating? I’m not going to define what is an adultery and get into a debate over the definition of that word. What if your partner cannot provide you sex and you are permitted to have a sexual relationship with someone else? Is that cheating? What if everything is agreed upon?
Rarely, yes, very rarely, some couples that started out of cheating will live happily ever after. Overall, however, cheating is evil. There is a rule in the society that you can’t do something bad to someone else that you don’t want to experience yourself. (Unless you don’t mind being cheated on, but in that case, why do you even date?)
In any case, if you don’t want to cheat on your boo, just don’t flirt. If anyone hits on you, say that you have a partner. It’s that simple.
As mentioned above, some couples be happy but 99.8% (my own statistics) will not be happy with the person they’re having an affair with.
There are also a certain amount of people who promise they get divorced someday to marry you. Trust me, THEY WILL NEVER GET DIVORCED. WAKE THE FUCK UP. If they wanted divorce, they would have done it centuries ago. If they have kids, all the more reasons to stay in marriage, because trust me (once more) kids are far more important than your private part.
I once knew a person who met his gf by cheating. She was cheating with him and eventually they started dating. They happily have been dating for the past few years and the person is still cheating on her. Is this a happy ending? I’m sure they are happy to bye together, but is this really a happy ending? My other acquaintance dated a married man only to cheat on him after 3 years to date another guy, and then cheat on that guy to be with another guy, and then cheat on that guy with 7 other guys.
Another acquaintance dated a married man for 10 years only to find her a different replacement. Both of the married guys have not divorced yet.
People in toxic, cheating relationships often say they cant help to, because they fell in love. Now that’s tricky. Usually the one who fell is the one who gets hurt. Once you fell, you lose. Why don’t you just be friends? Everything becomes complicated because we all try to make it intimate. Don’t! Keep a platonic relationship. If you can’t help it, just avoid that person. That’s better than actually doing something stupid. If you love that person, hope for the happiness of that person not only your own.
Another comment I often hear about cheating is “it’s okay, unless it’s a secret”. No, it’s not fucking okay if no one knows you’re screwing your boss secretly. The pure act of cheating is already wrong! Can I kill someone if no one knows about it? Can I steal something if no one knows about it? What if I steal your partner that you are screwing right now and you wouldn’t know it?
It’s logically incorrect to say that it’s okay to cheat as long as no one knows. Cheating is bad in the first place, no matter who knows.
Finally, cheating, in my opinion, is a type of an illness. And sadly, it’s incurable. You can suppress it and keep it deep down buried somewhere in the lake of unconsciousness, but you cant cure it. If you have the tendency to steal other people’s toys, first, be aware that you might be having the cheating illness and then actually try to suppress the urge! Slow and steady wins the illness. Also, if you are a woman, remember, you may get pregnant and that’s the start of something horrible.
To cheaters who don’t give a shit about the society: you may do whatever you want, after all, we live in a totally free world. Having multiple relationships is okay. What is not okay is having a relationship with someone who already has a partner. Don’t drag the innocent one into the path to hell. If you cant commit, then don’t. Don’t get into relationships at all.
To cheaters: Are you happy? I’m not going to judge, I’m not Him. Just remember one thing, there is always someone who gets hurt in the end. It may be you, the husband, the wife, the yet unborn baby in the family etc. It’s all fun now. But life isn’t all fun.
Be faithful, Millennials