Let’s talk about sexy stuff.
Today’s column on Thirsty Thursday is about one-night stands. Now, first, let me make this very clear. One-night stands are not about love. If you think one-night stands end in a lovey dovey romantic relationship, then you’re completely mistaken and you might want to re-consider your attitude before you get hurt AGAIN for the millionth time.
One-night stands consist of 2 types. First one is a very no-strings-attached sort of, ego-boosting healthy one-night stand. Second one is, the one where you’re left sad and saggy. And I’m going to scold some of you, Millennials, who tend to engage in the 2nd type of one-night stands.
One-night stand differ from “fuckbuddy” type of relationship in that it does not last. That’s why the name, “one-night” stand. It ends usually within one-night (technically c. 2-3 hours).
Typical story is picking up someone drunk from clubs or bars. Maybe they found some hottie, made them drunk so they can’t walk, then took them home. It also may be considered as rape. Walk that wobbly walk of shame to your way home in the morning with regrets and more regrets. And you never hear from them, ever again.
Another typical story is when someone is stupid enough to be alone with someone, say, at their house. And then, “it sort of happened”. I mean, hello?, how can you be so blind that you can’t even speculate that things may happen? (But love is blind, after all, I get it)
Here, before I talk about the mental damage from one-night stands, let me tell you something real quick about sex with (practically) strangers. Whether you’re male or female, gay or straight, the important thing to remember is: having sex with strangers is risky. The risk of catching STD, HIV, and, if you are a woman, also ending up with a belly. So if you don’t care about the possibility of ending up with an illness that does not yet have a cure, fine. Go ahead on your own responsibility. Some couples test for sex-related diseases before they enter an intimate relationship, and I support those type of people 100%.
Okay, let’s go back into the idea of one-night stand itself. As I said in the beginning of this article, a relationship that starts with sex, will not last. Even if it lasts it ends up being a NSA kind of thing where both sides are not committed to each other. I’d say the probability of shifting to a serious relationship is around 1%. If the initial contact is in an inebriated state, then the statistics drop down to around 0.0000000000001%.
Usually drunken state leaves both parties without memories, one side not remembering another side’s name or personality or how things happened the way they happened. Thus, the one who fell in love, is the stupid one.
One-night stands aren’t love. They are lust. Just urged with lust. I wouldn’t want to wake up in the morning with a groggy head, not remembering a thing about last night with some dude, who looked better in a drunken state, in some shitty apartment. And that awkward talk in the morning on whether you want to have a breakfast together or not or how you might text them later…which usually ends up never happening.
When young, one-night stands may seem cool. One-night stands may seem awesome because you lack confidence in yourself, love life or your body. You may not even have the guilt for being overly promiscuous. If you’re being bothered by one-night stands that do not lead anywhere, you should start thinking differently today.
So, are one-night stands beneficial at all? You’re not getting paid or anything, in fact, what you might get is STD. If another one agrees on a one-night stand, that already says something about that person and you already can guess how he/she is going to treat you in relationships.
A lot of people say, take care of your body & mind. I think it applies to these kind of things too. If you can indulge in a one-night stand maybe once a year just for pure fun with someone you know well, I won’t judge you. (However, still don’t recommend that) If you can’t stand the idea of always being tossed like garbage after things are done, just change today.
While I was surfing the Internet, I found an insightful comment: one-night stands happen because of loneliness.
You know what? Sugar-coating, or sweet-toothing or however you may call it, but distracting yourself from loneliness by having sex with strangers is THE LONELIEST thing I’ve ever herd.
Lusting toward someone is alright. It’s natural and I’m not denying the human nature. But, please, have some common sense to refrain from the activities that may hurt your soul.
One-night stands are unhealthy, and if you want to stop, just stop. It’s easier than you may think. You just discipline yourself and will not cross the line. If anyone tries to force you, call the police. Easy!
You might want to read this article on sex too. Click here.
Practice safe sex, Millennials